


my reflection in your eyes

by unbalancedlove



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 19:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16859788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbalancedlove/pseuds/unbalancedlove
Summary: everyone thinks taeyong and yuta are dating.





	my reflection in your eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reruns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reruns/gifts).



> happy birthday rian 💕
> 
> thank you for the past three years, and probably the next thirty.
> 
> (title from red velvet's blue lemonade)

taeyong has a date this weekend.

it’s his first one this year. the first one since freshman year, now that he thinks about it. how did three years flash by so quickly without him getting any sort of action? he’s not exactly sure either. taeyong contemplates the sad state of his love life as he watches the two sizzling eggs he just spilled into the frying pan.

his sleepy train of thought is abruptly cut off when he feels two arms wrap around him delicately. “good morning,” yuta says, resting his head on taeyong’s shoulder.

“morning,” taeyong replies with a laugh, reaching over to pat his head. “now stop slouching on me before i trip and burn our entire kitchen down!”

yuta yawns and drags his feet over to the couch, where he and taeyong had spent most of the previous night….playing video games.

maybe that’s the reason, he figures. he and his best friends are absolute homebodies, choosing to spend most of their weekends in instead of going out with their other friends and meeting people other than the fifteen same ones who they were already comfortable with. and this routine never gets boring even after countless nights of playing the same games or rewatching the same shows. there’s always a new way to experience something with yuta, or maybe he just makes the same boring things fun just by being there. 

it’s comfortable. it’s easy. and up until recently, taeyong didn’t think that he was missing out on much.

“you nervous about saturday?” yuta asks, as if he’s reading his thoughts. they really do spend too much time together. “you could invite him over instead, you know, if that makes you more comfortable. i’ll spend the night out with doyoung and jaehyun.”

“nooo, definitely not.” taeyong shoves a plate into his lap. “he promised to show me around hongdae. i wanna know all the hip places that the kids hang out at nowadays.”

“stop talking like you’re on your deathbed, oh my god.” yuta enhales the poor egg in two swift bites.

taeyong sighs. “i think i’m starting to internalize the old jokes that donghyuck constantly flings at me.”

doyoung’s younger brother is a menace, the more he spends time around him and his boyfriend, the older he feels. he can’t understand half of the things that these kids say to each other.

yuta, bless his equally old heart, beams at him. “you’ll always be a baby to me!”

taeyong cracks a tiny smile in return, knowing that yuta only said that because he sensed that he was genuinely upset. he’s like his happiness pill, his emotional support, and the rock he could always lean on.

 

“are you guys holding hands?” doyoung asks on wednesday. they’re studying at his and jaehyun’s place today.

yuta shows off their linked hands proudly. “you have a problem with that?”

“not exactly,” doyoung replies, not expecting the confident responses. “unusual for two people who are  _ just _ friends, is all.”

“best friends,” taeyong corrects him. honestly, does no one else understand the difference? doyoung expresses his affection for jaehyun by slapping him away any time he got too close, so it’s not like he would understand. “who love and support each other.”

“stop being disrespectful to the elderly, hyung,” donghyuck says. he’s here to ‘study for his midterms,’ which just means that he came over to watch doyoung’s tv or empty his fridge. sitting next to him is mark, who laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard in his life. mark is strange like that.

taeyong repeats the thing he always says whenever he’s in this cursed apartment. “we should have stayed at home today.”

“doyoung, please send the children home it’s past their curfew,” yuta pleads seriously. mark stops laughing.

“it’s only nine!” donghyuck protests.

“and you’re here being a little gremlin instead of sleeping like you should be,” his best friend and savior succeeds at turning the conversation around. taeyong has never seen donghyuck looks so appalled.

doyoung turns to donghyuck and hums. “he has a point, you know.”

“we’re literally eighteen,” mark argues. 

“these fucking grandpas don’t know what it’s like to live your youth, they probably sleep around ten too,” donghyuck says to him.

“did you just swear?”

“n-no….”

“i’m telling mom!”

“i said frick!”

doyoung’s threats to tell his mother that her adult son says fuck actually works, because mark and donghyuck finally leave. just as taeyong’s brain begins to process the words on his textbook, jaehyun steps out of the bathroom. he makes eye contact with doyoung and it all goes downhill from there.

“when are you going to stop taking one hour long baths?” 

it’s almost heartwarming, really, how doyoung always immediately finds a reason to start shit with jaehyun.

“when you stop trying to raise two children in our apartment! i’m not ready to be a father, we've talked about this!”

“please never bring a child to this world,” taeyong says. he imagines it would be as demonic and powerful as around 500 donghyucks.

“woah, i didn't see you guys there,” jaehyun blinks at them. his glasses still have a little bit of fog from the aforementioned bath. he plops down in front of taeyong, who finally gives up and slams the book shut. “so, heard about your date….”

taeyong isn’t surprised. news travel fast when your social consists of twenty people at most. “uh, we-”

“what date?” doyoung nearly yells, confused. he looks at taeyong and yuta’s hands again. 

“with kim jonghyun,” yuta replies even louder. taeyong wonders if there is something wrong with his own hearing.

jaehyun launches into an unnecessary explanation. “biology major, kinda short, friends with that minhyun du-”

“i know who kim jonghyun is,” doyoung cuts him off sharply. “good for you, hyung.”

he doesn’t sound all that ecstatic about it though.

it’s funny how everyone seems a whole lot more interested in this date than he is. he feels like he should be too, but there is a weird nagging feeling at the back of his mind, and he just can't figure out why. he initially thought it might just be nervousness from having to put himself out there again after such a long time, but that just doesn't seem right.

jonghyun is someone he’s known for a while, through mutual friends and later some classes. really nice boy, popular and gets along with everyone. which is why taeyong couldn’t believe it when he asked for his number after class last week, and then suggested that they go out the next weekend. it was also why he didn’t say no. how often does a seemingly perfect boy randomly ask you on a date?

“why the hell are you asking me?” was yuta’s response when he asked about whether he should go through with it.

“because you’re my best friend and you know me better than i know myself? why are you suddenly getting defensive?”

“oh,” he blinked. “of course you should go, it’s  _ kim jonghyun _ .”

yuta was acting weird that day, but he gave him his blessings to go through with it. taeyong isn’t sure why that matters so much, but it does.

“so when were you planning to share this information with me?” doyoung asks jaehyun, snapping taeyong back to reality.

“i literally just heard about it, and unlike you, i’m not a huge gossip who loves meddling in people’s lives.”

“we should probably leave now,” taeyong whispers to yuta, who nods and starts stuffing their books back into their bags. 

 

if you asked taeyong what yuta is to him, he would immediately say  _ family _ . maybe it’s a corny thing to say, but there is really no other way to describe what they are to outsiders. he’s poured his heart to yuta in a way that he hasn’t done to anyone before, from quiet conversations about their futures to arguing about who the best character in  _ free! _ is. they know each other inside and out.

(although sometimes yuta looks at him in a way that he can’t quiet decode, but only then.)

it seems like yuta’s co-workers had a different idea, though.

“yuta, your boyfriend’s here!” sana says cheerfully when he walks in.

“you know i can understand that, right?” taeyong narrows his eyes at her.

“who said that i didn’t think you did?” she winks at him. 

the twenty-four hour cafe that yuta works at is completely dead this thursday night, which is why taeyong decided that it would be the perfect time to hang around there until sunrise.

it’s dead most of the time, really. a little bit too far off their campus to have students constantly pour in between classes.

yuta drags his feet through the floor as he makes his way to the table where taeyong had already set their things. he brought his 3ds, yuta’s switch, his laptop, his biology notes, and containers filled with half of the dinner he made before he remembered that yuta isn’t going to spend the night at home.

“did you stuff our entire apartment into your backpack?” he manages to snark at him even though he’s already 70% asleep.

“yes, and you're welcome. now shut up and take a nap.”

“but what if someone comes in?” yuta says, although he was already resting his head on the table. sana’s shift just ended, and it’s just the two of them there now.

taeyong rolls his eyes “we both know that’s not going to happen, and if it does, i think i’ve had enough experience watching the store for you.”

he flips his 3ds open. it’s been a little while since he’s had the chance to check on his village, and he spends the next hour wandering around, silently apologizing to all his talking animal friends, picking weed, and picking fruit. when he looks up again, he finds that yuta is already fast asleep, his soft breathing barely audible over the latest exo tune playing over the speakers.

maybe there are other things that he and yuta don’t know about each other.

like how cute taeyong thinks yuta looks when he’s asleep, how he just sits and watches him sometimes, and all the stuff he brought along are a distraction from the main event.

nights with yuta are the best, because when they’re not filling the darkness with their quiet laughter, they lean on each other and fall asleep, and when they’re not both asleep taeyong stays up and watches.

yuta’s cheek is squished against his arm, his mouth occasionally letting out soft sighs and unintelligible mumbles, and his pastel pink hair is a mess because he couldn’t stop squirming before he found the most comfortable position to sleep.

_ unusual for two people who are just friends, is all. _

doyoung’s words pop into his mind at the worst possible time. there is definitely nothing wrong with holding your best friend’s hand, but staring at him while he sleeps and waxing poetics about his hair is not as easy to explain away. 

another thing he can’t explain is his desire to reach over and pat yuta’s pink locks back into place. it shouldn’t be out of the ordinary, he’s done this before. it’s just that he feels so much more conscious of it now.

where is the line drawn?

 

friday afternoon is extremely awkward.

taeyong runs into jonghyun after class. that’s not the problem. the problem is that he was just about to sit down  to study in the same part of the library as him, and after exchanging pleasantries, it would be shitty of him to walk back to his seat, only a few meters away, and proceed to ignore him for the next few hours.

he wishes yuta was here, he would find a way out of this. whatever class he’s in right now can’t be more important than getting your best friend out of a weird social situation.

“so….super excited about saturday,” jonghyun says after a while, and taeyong begs the earth to just open up and swallow him already.

“yeah! m-me too, it’s all i could think about.”  _ and for all the wrong reasons, it seems. _

jonghyun smiles widely, and the genuine happiness in his eyes upon hearing that puts taeyong a at a little ease.

“hey jonghyun!” someone yells from behind him. taeyong turns around to see sooyoung, one of doyoung’s friends, approaching them.

she looks surprised to see him there. “oh, woah, how do you two know each other?”

“classmates,” jonghyun explains. “we’re actually going on a date tomorrow.”

“what? but i thought taeyong and yuta were da-” she stops herself before finishing the sentence, but the damage is already done.

“well, it was nice seeing you guys here! see you later!” sooyoung leaves as quickly as she appears, but leaves behind a dark cloud of awkwardness between them.

“i should probably go, i promised to meet up with minhyun at the front gate in like thirty minutes.” the front gate was only a five minute walk from the library.

“uh, yeah, me too. but this has been fun!”

jonghyun’s smile returns (thank god), but it’s not nearly as bright. “yeah, it has.”

  
  


taeyong wakes up on saturday feeling nauseous.

he doesn't understand what’s gotten into him. he should be excited, he’s  _ finally _ going on a date, and with someone as wonderful as kim jonghyun. why isn’t he leaping out of bed with joy? 

yuta.

he suddenly remembers that about a month ago, he and yuta had set aside this weekend to play the new pokemon game together. obviously that's not as important, and they literally live together, so they could camp out in front of the tv (like they always do) and play any other day of the week. it's such a non-event that yuta didn’t even bother mentioning it. 

so why was taeyong looking more forward to it more than spending the night out with jonghyun?

he shivers before pulling the covers down and walking over to his closet. he doesn't have the faintest idea about what he should wear. would it be rude to pick something he usually wears to class? would jonghyun think that he’s not putting in any effort and get offended?

“yuta?” he calls out.

“what’s up?” yuta yells back from the bathroom. 

“have you seen my black coat? i could have sworn i saw you in it a couple of hours ago.” having separate closets has proven to be redundant because the two of them end up sharing everything anyways.

their place is tiny enough for him to hear yuta spit out his toothpaste and turn off the running water. he pokes his head into taeyong’s room. “why do you need tha- oh. right. that’s today.”

taeyong feels a weird pang in his heart, like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t do. if yuta is upset, his neutral expression doesn’t reveal it. “uh, yeah.”

“give me a sec.”

yuta leaves and returns quickly. he throws the coat over taeyong’s pajamas. “you look very dashing.”

taeyong laughs lightly and shrugs it off. why does this feel so wrong? he can’t help himself, he has to ask again. maybe he wants to hear a different answer this time.

“are you sure you’re okay with this? what about our pokemon weekend….thing?”

yuta’s eyes waver, but he maintains his smile and pats his shoulders. “don’t worry about me, just have fun today!”

 

the queasy feeling persists when he leaves the apartment around noon. he and jonghyun aren’t supposed to meet for another six hours, but for some reason being there just felt unbearable. he thought it might be because he was feeling stuffy, but the gusts of cold wind only make him more nauseous.

he isn’t sure about what he should do next, except for one thing.

 

**[12:31:23PM] LEE TAEYONG: I woke up feeling sick this morning.**

**[12:31:50PM] LEE TAEYONG: I don’t think I can make it.**

**[12:32:00PM] LEE TAEYONG: I’m really, really sorry.**

 

_ are you out of your mind, lee taeyong? _ he’s not only letting kim jonghyun slip by but also being a complete douche to him by cancelling on the same day. not to mention that he’s going to make every class for the remaining month of this semester as stuffy and awkward as that library encounter yesterday.

well, it wasn’t exactly his fault that his body feels like it’s about to implode at any second. maybe if he went home now, cuddled up with yuta, and spent the rest of the night catching pokemon, he would feel a lot better.

and the more he thinks about it, the more he feels like there isn’t anything else in the world that he wants to be doing.

there will be other weekends where he’ll want to go out with strangers, ask them about their lives because he doesn’t know them inside and out, spend a long time reading the menu because he won’t be eating at a restaurant that he’s been to a hundred times, and even kiss them good night because they’re not just friends.

but right now he wants to spend this one with yuta. and pikachu.

 

taeyong wanders around their neighborhood for the next few hours, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse as to why he came home early. he steps inside by four.

it’s strangely dark and quiet. yuta is sitting in the living room alone, barely paying attention to the obnoxiously loud variety show playing on the tv. he doesn't look very happy to see taeyong.

“did you forget something?” he asks him, looking worried.

the lies that he practiced earlier all vanish from his head, including the ones he’s been telling himself. “i’m not going.”

“but i said i was fine with it,” is yuta’s swift response, correctly guessing that he was the reason taeyong is home right now.

“i promised to play pokemon with you, didn't i? so that's what we're doing today.” and probably tomorrow too.

yuta laughs. “you did not cancel your first date in years to play pokemon with me.”

taeyong looks down. “lee taeyong!”

“i never wanted to fucking go in the first place!” 

“oh,” yuta blinks. “i….can't believe i didn't notice that you didn't. i'm sorry.”

when he ran this scenario through his head, he certainly didn't expect yuta to be the one apologizing. and for something that he absolutely should not be feeling sorry for.

how did taeyong get so lucky?

“so….pokemon?”

yuta shakes his head. “i'm not really in the mood to play today.” there it is again, that unreadable look in his eyes. so frustrating.

“what’s on your mind, then?” taeyong asks, squeezing himself into yuta’s personal space until their thighs were touching.

yuta doesn't say anything, only continues to stare at him like he's trying to communicate something. it makes taeyong really nervous, but not in the  _ i don't know how to start a conversation with this person  _ way, but more like the exciting, heart fluttering way.

“yuta, what’s going on?”

“i was just thinking that maybe,” yuta whispers, pushing himself so close that he could hear taeyong’s heart beating furiously. his voice is different, lower. “since everyone already thinks we’re dating….”

taeyong gulps. he’s not used to have yuta turn on his charm on him. it’s extremely effective, and he’s tongue tied for a few seconds. “yes?”

“would you ever see me that way?” he asks, pleading, and that’s when taeyong realizes that there is no turned on charm. it’s just yuta, and taeyong feels like he’s going to pass out because he certainly, most definitely sees him that way. 

and he always has.

he doesn’t answer with words, only reaches up to try and kiss him, and yuta responds by aggressively gripping into his waist and pushing him down.

so that’s what's been holding him back the whole time. he’s tried and tried, but yuta is always there. he could finally hear what that tiny voice in his head has been trying to tell him. 

_ but it’s not yuta.  _

yuta kisses him slowly, like he wants to savour every second that their lips are touching. taeyong sinks down into the couch and lets him have his way with him. 

the way he smiles at him when they break apart makes his chest ache. in all the years that he’s known him, taeyong has never seen yuta look so happy before.

“i love you so much, lee taeyong.”

it’s not awkward, it’s not weird, besides that one wall finally coming crashing down, nothing is going to change.

because yuta’s lips feel like coming home.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! 
> 
> if you enjoyed this please head to rian's twitter @lamecities and wish her a happy birthday.  
> (but don't mention her age, she's sensitive about turning into a hag.)


End file.
